Who are Mike & Irmgard?
Together, Irmgard and Mike are the heart of this project. Two real people. Two families who showed up every day. Two losses that didn't have to be as hard as they were.
*We should not have to forge unique paths alone.*
This page exists so that fewer people have to.
Because of Irmgard and Mike, we take dementia advocacy personally.
*Irmgard Rutledge, 1938–2020. Martina's mother. The reason this exists.Meet Irmgard
Irmgard was born in 1938 in Marienwerder, West Prussia, near the Baltic Sea. As a child, she fled a village being bombed. She grew up in East Berlin and fled again to the West. In the 1960s she crossed an ocean to marry an American soldier she loved, leaving behind her home, her language, and everyone she knew.
She spent her whole life starting over. She was good at it.
She was a gardener — her yard was always beautiful. She was playful and fierce and funny. She protested wars and defended strangers on subway platforms and lined up her daughter's shoes like little footprints leading down the hall. She was a caregiver for my father after his stroke. She was widowed at 56. She was my best friend, and she was also my mom.
She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2013, then re-diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia in 2014. I was her 24/7 in-home caregiver from before her diagnosis until she passed away in August 2020. We were alone. There was no roadmap. There was no backup.
Sometimes, near the end, she thought the bombs were falling again.
She also never forgot my brother Mark, a premature baby who died while my father was in Vietnam, before I was born. Some things live in us so deeply that even dementia can't reach them. Mark was one of those things for her.
And she never forgot me. Not really. Even when she couldn't find the word for what I was to her — whether I was her mother, her sister, or her daughter — she always knew we belonged together. She always knew she loved me. The disease took so much. It didn't take that.
*Mike Butler, 1945–2024. Catie's dad. The other reason this exists.Meet Mike
Mike was born in Detroit in 1945, the youngest of six children, a delightful surprise to his siblings. He served in the Navy during the Vietnam era, spent over 30 years as an appliance technician, and was proud of his role helping build the Roscommon Public Library. He married Kathy Waterman in 1967 and had 42 years with her before she was gone. They raised three children together, including Catie.
He loved bad movies, cloud formations, pizza, steak, and ice cream. He had quick wit and terrible taste in film and made everyone around him laugh — including the people who came to care for him at the end, who agreed he was one of the funniest men they'd ever met.
His family called him Junior Birdman.
He was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease around 2007 and with dementia in 2015. His daughter Catie cared for him at home, then visited him every single day when his care needs became more than one person could provide alone. She learned hard lessons along the way about who shows up and who doesn't.
He deserved better than what the system gave him.The DaughTers Behind Mike & Irmgard
About Martina
Martina Rutledge is a writer, storyteller, and dementia advocate based in Portland, Oregon. She is the daughter of Irmgard Rutledge — gardener, dancer, fierce protector of strangers, and the person who taught Martina everything she knows about loving people well.
Irmgard was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2013 and re-diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD) in 2014 — a distinction that took years and a change of physicians to achieve, and that mattered enormously for her care. Martina was her 24/7 in-home caregiver from before the diagnosis until Irmgard passed away in August 2020. They navigated it largely alone, without adequate support, guidance, or roadmap.
What made their journey harder than it needed to be wasn't just the disease. It was a primary care physician who dismissed Irmgard's early concerns as aging. It was medical professionals who insisted on an Alzheimer's framework long after the evidence pointed elsewhere. It was becoming a dementia expert on the fly while simultaneously grieving the slow loss of her best friend. No one comes to caregiving already knowing how to navigate the medical system, interpret changing behaviors, advocate against dismissive professionals, or simply hold space for a person who is disappearing in pieces. Martina learned all of it as she went, the way most caregivers do — by necessity, in real time, often alone.
Martina knows what it is to forge a path no one should have to forge alone.
Because of Irmgard, she takes dementia advocacy personally.
About Catie
Catie Butler is…
Because of Mike, she takes dementia advocacy personally.
Resources
for caregivers
Resources, honest reflection, what we wish we'd had. COMING SOON!for people who love A caregiver
What actually helps — told plainly, without judgment. COMING SOON!AdditIonal Resources
Real ones. Not aspirational ones that are all talk and no help. COMING SOON!