Traditionally, the full moon is a time when we work on things like healing, completion, closure, and releasing. It's also a time when many traditions focus on workings for peace.
This month, I'm feeling really called to focus on letting go. We all carry so much stuff around with us that we really don't need to be shouldering. Hurts, feeling responsible for others, holding on to feelings, situations, and ideas about ourselves that do not serve us, none of that baggage is healthy for us to be carrying around long-term. And yet we all do it, right?
A couple months ago, I had an experience that created some baggage of just the sort I'm talking about:
Someone I felt I had given a lot of support told me that she was not going support something I do with her participation (which amounts to reading an email), because "her time is precious." While I love helping others and generally don't at all have a problem with people coming, going, and drawing boundaries for their own self-care, the way she put it really triggered me. I stewed over how I'd devoted a lot of my own precious time to supporting this person, often for nothing in return, even though it often involved things others pay me to do and even though I am generally pretty busy. Have you ever had something like that happen to you? It's not the best feeling and I won't lie, it hurts.
For a while, every time her name would pop up, I'd get this tight little knot in my stomach and start feeling hurt and irritated. Then one day, I started thinking about why I was triggered me so deeply (it touched upon my ego and insecurities and made me feel foolish for letting her in and including her in spaces where I was vulnerable). I realized that I just needed to let it go.
So, I helped someone and it turns out she didn't appreciate it in the way I would have hoped and wasn't in place of readiness to lend the same support in return. So what? We can't dictate how people receive what we offer. In this case, the way it was received tells me that this is probably not a person I am meant to be close with, but that is okay, because I know without a doubt that I am not for everyone and everyone is not for me and that we can love people as human beings while still holding the boundary of not inviting them into our inner circle.
This knowledge forms one of the guiding principles in my life and work and remembering this makes it so much easier to let go. You see, even in my business, I look for clients I really click with. I have to live like everyone else, but I’m not just here for a quick buck. I genuinely want to help people and I look for projects and clients that feel like they're chocolate and I'm peanutbutter -- we're just meant to go together. We are on the same wavelength, like we could be Soulpod. And those who don't fit that bill, I release with love and good wishes for their journey.
The beauty of being able to release people, experiences, and ideas that are not meant for us without bitterness is that it creates space in our hearts for us to focus on those we are meant to love as well as those we are meant to serve with our work in the world. Won't you join me in doing some releasing at the full moon?
For your soul:
One of my favorite activities do to at the full moon is to write down things that I want to release on slips of paper and then burning them to let them drift away on the smoke. This month, I'll be working on my own ego triggers, hurt, and anger. What will you be working on?
Where is your ego causing you to be triggered? Where are you holding onto hurt or anger? How are those feelings hampering you? How are they damaging your relationships? How are they closing you off from the people and experiences that are meant for you? Are you prepared to release them? How will you begin to do so?
Feel free to drop me a line or share in the comments, so I can hold space for you.